her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you made out with another girl for some wings
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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