I must be too annoying 4 u.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
