we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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