Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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