my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
