Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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