NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
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You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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