come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
