Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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