Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Oh god it's open bar.
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