I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
