Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
