she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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