This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
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I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize