I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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