I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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