Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
