ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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