I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
