Non-Jews are for practice
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
