I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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