Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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