If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
