Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
