I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
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I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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