She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
