Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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