What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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