that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm really busy with my period
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