Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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