I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
