i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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