Sry I called you an 8
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
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driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
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Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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