So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
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