I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
