I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
