I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
