I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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