so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
