im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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