We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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