No period for spring break; use this wisely.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
