i just google imaged poop.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT