Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"

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  (425): its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks" http://tfl.nu/ax74
  Replies (21) Good night (691) Bad night (4133)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.

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  (606): There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992. http://tfl.nu/3pqb
  Replies (17) Good night (791) Bad night (3382)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I swear god or herbie drove my car home

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  (912): I swear god or herbie drove my car home http://tfl.nu/eanl
  Replies (34) Good night (5051) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.

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  (631): You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk. http://tfl.nu/huyr
  Replies (9) Good night (6065) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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  (610): aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors http://tfl.nu/o36o
  Replies (15) Good night (5145) Bad night (1701)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

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  (314): Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night http://tfl.nu/67n5
  Replies (10) Good night (2740) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!

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  (587): Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?! http://tfl.nu/tyzg
  Replies (19) Good night (2216) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me

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  (703): No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me http://tfl.nu/mnmv
  Replies (5) Good night (2572) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins

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  (518): Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins http://tfl.nu/i33q
  Replies (7) Good night (2917) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  8===D

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.

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  (412): 8===D (412): That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me. http://tfl.nu/yh0b
  Replies (12) Good night (1883) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.

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  (781): not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that. http://tfl.nu/qu2b
  Replies (2) Good night (1084) Bad night (244)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

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  (518): Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time. http://tfl.nu/sw9x
  Replies (2) Good night (1031) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.

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  (408): My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside. http://tfl.nu/vhza
  Replies (10) Good night (1199) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.

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  (205): The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans. http://tfl.nu/5jwr
  Replies (1) Good night (192) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"

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  (304): Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home" http://tfl.nu/2t6k
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (231)

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