What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?