so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...