Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.