This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
