So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
