Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
