nut hugger
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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