she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He shit in the fireplace
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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