and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize