Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
