Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
