someone threw a dead crab at me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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