Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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