i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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