I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
