Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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