Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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